its been about 2 months since my last blog entry, whoops, one of which i literally said id update daily, WHOOPS! so what have i been up to in the meantime? firstly, i got a new job folding medical gowns for 40 hours a week (technically 37.5 accounting for breaks). its not my favorite thing in the world, but im happy to be working fulltime again - really distracts me from feeling like i dont exist / exist in a vacuum-sealed display bag b(^-^)b additonally, ive been falling back on old habits which i only stopped for about a week 4 months ago of doomscrolling for hours a day. working fulltime has obviously lowered my screentime, but ive found myself longing for the blue light rectangle the more and more im deprived of it, which got me thinking: im using it less, so why do i want it more? i mean, that goes against my whole goal of ditching my smartphone in favorite of a keitai. perhaps the goal should be to go cold turkey, to turn my smartphone off and forget about it, which i was seriously considering today, but i felt a physical manifestation of anxiety while thinking about having to get a train without the trainline app - what if theres a delay or a cancelation? how will i know? i could get the app on my keitai since its android, however mobile data on that thing can be iffy since its a japanese model and im in the uk. ill have to take a look at it some other time to figure it out. on that note, it cannot be a good thing that i get physically distressed when im away from a smartphone, and i wonder if many others would feel the same,,, two weeks ago i was having a discussion with my future husband about social media, and how i dont believe there is a correct way to use it in that i think all ways are equally as dogshit and we should all go back to personal sites, texting and calling, and idfk msn or smthn, but i know that this is not going to catch on. hell- even i couldnt stick to that. his stance was that social media (instagram) is where his friends are, and he doesnt want to navigate a bunch of different sites to get their opinions and info, that the centralised approach given by social media is the best way to interact with people online.